For someone who is an extrovert on the verge of a clinical diagnosis (not my words :) Sweden is a place where you must discover your introverted side.

Sure, I heard all these stereotypes about Scandinavian coldness and loneliness, but before that I lived and worked in Germany and I was sure that I had cracked the Germanic social codes.

I've arrived in Sweden eager to build a life, a community, a place to call home. I joined online groups, smiled at neighbors, shared fika with colleagues, did all the textbook moves. I did everything I used to do, in my homeland and in other countries.

Yet, for the first time in my life, I felt very lonely.

Forget smiling at random passers-by, cheerfully calling your neighbors and spontaneous conversation on public transport - in fact, make sure you don't sit next to someone, if you have enough free space to put your bag next to you. Because your bag is going to be your only friend in the beginning. 😊

This isn't just my experience. Statistics paint a stark picture: foreigners in Sweden often report feeling lonelier, isolated from the close-knit circles Swedes seem to have. Lots of internationals find themselves surrounded by friendly faces, but struggle to crack the inner circle.

I suddenly understood why it was a recurring theme in all the Swedish courses I attended: How and where to meet Swedes? I found it a bit irritating at first: are Swedes unicorns, some elusive mythical creatures? Many immigrants will tell you they are.

Is it you, or is it them?

Is Swedish friendliness a myth, or is there a deeper cultural undercurrent at play?

This "Swedish coldness" is a well-worn topic in expat forums and academic circles. The country consistently ranks low in surveys on making friends as an expat. Looking at sunnier climes – Mexico, Brazil, all Mediterranean countries – it seems like warmth isn't just geographical, but social too.